Perfectionism stems from the fear of failure —among other things — which, for me, was not surprising at all. The reason is that for the longest time I was afraid of failing, of not performing to the highest of standards. Anything short of perfect wasn’t acceptable. This flawed perspective caused significant struggles when I went to university. High school had its challenges, but university was different—every simple assignment drained my energy, making me feel incapable of meeting expectations.

What is perfectionism?

Perfectionism is more than just having high standards; it’s about obsessively striving for flawlessness and being overly self-critical when things don’t meet those impossible expectations. For me, it started off as being a bit nit-picky and wanting things to look or feel “just right.”

My Journey with Perfectionism

My perfectionism is what made me question writing this post in the first place. What if it wasn’t good enough? What if I couldn’t deliver the right message? These overwhelming pressures kick-start the vicious cycle of doubt and delay. In reality, many of these worries are not that serious and could easily be addressed—if only I could stop obsessing over them.

Personally, perfectionism stops me from doing many things. For example, I delay publishing blog posts on this website in fear that they aren’t good enough. I avoid posting on Instagram because the posts might not be perfect. I hold back on trying new skills because, what if I am not instantly good at it?

Take blogging, for example. I’ll sit down with a ton of ideas, super excited to write, but then the questions creep in: Is this topic interesting enough? Will people understand what I’m trying to say? What if the layout is wrong? Before I know it, the post I was excited about has turned into this thing I’m scared to put out. The funny thing is, most of these doubts aren’t as big as I make them. The pressure I place on myself makes them feel huge.

One specific thought that often goes through my mind is:

“if I don’t know exactly how to do something, can I even start it?”

This makes trying new things very challenging and borderline impossible. It creates many obstacles that can be incredibly discouraging. But here’s the thing: to learn something and be good at it you have to actually try to do it in the first place.

For me, perfectionism is fueled by my fear of failure. I see failure as the enemy of success. As I strive for perfection in everything, it not only makes accomplishing things hard but also creates this illusion of success.

And here’s the thing: perfectionism doesn’t just make doing things hard—it also steals the joy from achievements. I’ll finish a project, but instead of celebrating, I’m sitting there stressing about whether it met my crazy high standards. It’s like no matter what I do, I’m always thinking, Could I have done more? or Was this good enough?

Then there’s the “all-or-nothing” mentality: if I can’t do it perfectly, maybe I shouldn’t do it at all. Take learning a new skill. The odds are, you won’t be great the first time. You’ll probably mess up, maybe even fail. But as a perfectionist, that’s terrifying. Failing is like confirmation of not being “enough.” So I’d rather avoid it altogether, missing out on the learning and the growth that would come with just trying.

Often, I put too much thought, effort and energy in doing something and still not end up with what I actually wanted in the first place. Setting unrealistic standards can be exhausting and counterproductive. It makes me lose sight of the bigger picture—completing the task—and fixate on minor details that aren’t crucial. Sometimes, just getting the task done is more than enough.

A big turning point in understanding my perfectionism came when I realized how much it was tied to procrastination. So often, I would delay tasks because I feared they wouldn’t turn out “just right.” It was easier to put things off than to risk imperfection. This resulted in last-minute efforts and immense stress. The procrastination wasn’t laziness—it was perfectionism working against me. Creating a cycle that’s as frustrating as it is draining. But that’s a whole story in itself, and I’ll dive deeper into that in Part 2.

How has perfectionism held you back? You can share your experience in the comments below, let’s break this cycle and become unstoppable!!!

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